Skip to main content

#13

Title: The Complete Guide to Being Evil
Genre: Quirky Urban Fantasy
Word Count: 50,000

Query:

Riches, youth, magic, Kalara has it all. She's a classic evoker--hurling fire, ice, and electricity is her specialty. As her father always said, the classics are important.

Meet Whitcomb, a powerful necromancer who doesn't want anyone discovering he's selling the souls of the dead who go through his funeral home. Kalara finds out he's also a mage, and lets him know they have that in common in an endeavor to network. His response is an attempt to teleport her into the Hudson River, and it almost works. Scared for her life, she elicits the help of a devil.

Enter Evander, son of a devil. He's fresh from failing his final test to join the ranks of Tartarus, and making a deal with a mortal would save him from disgrace. He has Kalara sign an overly fair contract: in return for borrowing his power for five days, she has to give him a heart from one of his enemies so he can eat it and grow stronger. If she fails to deliver the heart, he eats Kalara's instead.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

First Page:
Day 0

Kalara tipped her hand at a dinner party, late Tuesday afternoon. She didn't know the host, Brentley Whitcomb, but that was normal at these events. Only those originally invited had any connection to the host, and they RSVP'd saying how many extras they had, then tried to use the most interesting acquaintances they had as a way to be the most impressive at the party. All she knew about him was that he had well-trimmed salt-and-pepper hair, icy blue eyes, and a great socializing smile, and owned a few funeral homes around The City.

Kalara still could not believe she was here. She sidled over to the big, wide windows with a small smile and gazed down at the Hudson, swirling with life under the bright sun. She'd now eaten hors d'oeuvres in one of the richest condos in Manhattan, she was renting one of the most luxurious apartments herself, and she got to go to see Broadway whenever she wanted. She was certainly living the high life.

Then the feeling welled up in her, and she had to squelch it back down.

Another woman, probably twice her age, stepped up beside her. “Hello, there. I'm Gene. Would you mind if I joined you at the window?”

“Of course not.” Kalara gave her a polite party smile.

“Oh, but we shouldn't talk about the men. We don't want people thinking we're sexist.”

Kalara, despite all her good breeding, couldn't quite keep her face straight. How was she supposed to respond to something so nutty? Why wasn't whoever brought this bizarre woman out in public keeping an eye on her? She turned slightly away, being intentionally aloof, though to do so was considered bad etiquette. Perhaps she'd loose interest.

Comments

  1. Wow, talk about setting up a scene! Nice job. I so wish I could take a look at this fully because you have me giggling, whether or not that's your intent. Good job!

    Thanks,
    - Terrie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was my intent. I guess I chose the wrong time to go absentee from the internet!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Operation Agent Ink

UPDATE: PLEASE FILL OUT THIS QUESTIONNAIRE AFTER YOU SIGN UP. Have you ever wondered what agents were dying to find in their inbox/slush pile? There have been many times I entered a contest and not even received a comment, not even from one of the agents. Or maybe the agent was kind enough to leave a comment that simply said, "Sorry, this just isn't what I'm looking for, but I love the premise and your voice." I always walk away feeling unsatisfied. If I had known exactly what the agent wanted beyond, "YA" or "Fantasy" I might not have even entered a contest I knew I wouldn't win! Even more, I wasted a very busy agents time! Well, your time of guessing is up! OPERATION AGENT INK to the rescue! That's right! This workshop will help aspiring authors get on the list of an agent's WISH LIST! When the workshop is over, your manuscript will be ready to view by a group of AMAZING agents who are dying to see what you've wri...

Writer In Motion CP feedback

Hey beautiful guys and dolls! Here it is! My CP feedback edited story. Had a hard time with this, but I hope it makes sense. I've got a post I'm working on I plan to put up after Thanksgiving. Here ya go. Enjoy... Every morning I wake to carnival day.  Today, though, I have my key. If I don’t use it before midnight, my way of escape will gone. It’s a silver key with a twisted metal handle, a sapphire stone half moon and engraved stars. There’s a tiny inscription on the moon, but it’s so small, I’ve never been able to read it.I’ve always kept mine in my jewelry box, but today, I string it on a ribbon and tie it around my neck. My two best friends will be wearing theirs, too, and I wonder how they will escape this carnival of dreams. “What’s it for?” Cress asks as we stand in line for the swings. I run my fingertips over the entire silver surface. “I don’t know. It belonged to my grandmother,” I say. “Whatever.” She shrugs her shoulder in a dismissive way. “Have ...

Workshop 10

Today, let's get readers hooked from the very first sentence. If you do, you are off to a great start and hopefully a great first chapter. We are going to focus on the first and second sentence and how you can draw readers in while introducing two major items about your book: 1. Your MC 2. The main conflict. How? Is it really possible to do this in only TWO sentences? YES! Example: My name is Snow, like the white powder that falls during winter, though I don't know what my mom was thinking because it was ninety degrees the day I was born. I turned twelve the year I married a man I hated and thirteen when my first baby was born. This sentence tells us a lot. It shows us a little about Snow's personality, it hints toward a shortened childhood and could possibly point to a different time era. I also can definitely see the conflict. Can you? You only have a few minutes to make a good, first impression. Make sure you wow your reader enough they'll actually t...