I joined a blog hop flash writing contest with/for Jessa Russo. It's in honor of her first EVER book release. I met Jessa during the Curiosity Quills Blog hop. I have never read a ghost story, but after reading Jessa's query and first few pages and then learning more about her ghost Frankie, I was so inspired, I fell in love -with Frankie. I was so inspired, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and write a story I had never written before and never thought I would write. Or even want to write. But I did, and I did. My piece for the contest is a small part of my bigger manuscript I wrote. I had to modify and change a few things so the story would make sense, but I think it works. At least, I hope it does:)
How to vote: Comment at the end of the end of this post. You must have the word "VOTE" in your comment for it to be considered valid.
-->
His lips brushed mine and his sweet scent filled the air. I melted in his embrace.
How to vote: Comment at the end of the end of this post. You must have the word "VOTE" in your comment for it to be considered valid.
VOTING IS OPEN UNTIL SEPTEMBER 30TH!!!!
Ready? Well, lets go!
The
Man With the Black Hood knocked on my door last night, but I refused to answer
his calling card. He came around and tapped on the window glass of my bedroom
and that’s when I knew I couldn’t ignore him any longer. My mother always told
me to never look him directly in the eye, but sometimes I don’t listen. Tonight
proved to be my biggest mistake. His eyes met mine and with one fearful gaze he
held me spellbound. I couldn’t resist the pull from the palm of his hand as he
placed it against the windowpane. Drizzling rain oozed between his skin and the
glass. I reached up and placed my hand against his and watched as the water
turned red at my touch.
The
Man With the Black Hood motioned for me to open the window. My shaking hands
unlatched the bolt and opened the shuttered window. Cold wind whistled past my
face. I love the rain at night when I’m trying to fall asleep, but tonight I
hated it. Even the smell of fresh, wet dirt couldn’t entice me to relax. I
feared this night all my life and now it was here. Where would he take me? What
would he tell me about my destiny?
With
a fluid motion I crawled out the window and stood facing him. If I didn’t let
go of my fear this very moment, it would follow me for the rest of my life. I
needed courage, craved it, must have it. So I dropped the terror from my heart
and stamped it into the ground. Water sloshed over my bare foot sending chills
up my leg.
He
took my hand and together we walked into the night. My toes squished through
the soaked grass and the hem of my nightgown turned a mixture of brown and
green, sticking to my ankles with an icy dampness. The rain blinded me and
stung my eyes. I hoped we didn’t need to travel a long way. The Man With the
Black Hood followed the path leading to the family cemetery and to my surprise
he stopped at the gate. Turning to me, he pushed me forward, through the
opening. The gate is rarely left open but tonight it swung freely as if it
expected my company.
“Why
are we here?” I asked, but in my heart, I already knew. I had never said
goodbye to him. My heart broke when they took him away. I didn’t want to
face life without him. He nudged my shoulder to move forward and I walked on
toward Colton's grave. I stopped reverently beside his headstone. Falling to my
knees I traced his name with my finger while my tears mingled with the
raindrops on my cheeks.
Rain
pelted down, splattering the mud-covered mound of dirt plastering his grave. No
flowers decorated the gravesite. No sun warmed the earth. No friends gathered
to send their condolences. Only cold, stinging rain.
"I don't want to be here," I screamed out. "Please. Take me away."
The Man With the Black Hood touched my cheek. Even through the freezing rain his hand felt warm. With his touch, he transported us to the lighthouse over looking the sea. Far below the cliffs, waves splashed madly against the rocks. I couldn't look down. Fear mocked my heart, saying Colton's lifeless body might still be there.
Before I could tear my eyes from the terrorizing view, we were inside the lighthouse. The very spot Colton first kissed me. He asked me to stay with him forever and I promised. I said yes and his happy laughter followed him over the side of the cliff as he ran from me, begging me to chase him. To follow him. But I couldn't.
The Man With the Black Hood removed his hood, letting it fall gently around his shoulders. When he spoke, all he said was my name. At first.
"Kaleah."
"Kaleah? You promised you would never leave me. You promised to stay with me forever," he whispered.
I trembled with joy.
"Colton? It's you?"
His lips brushed mine and his sweet scent filled the air. I melted in his embrace.
"Promise to never leave again. Promise me, Kaleah."
"But I'm not with you now. I couldn't follow you over the cliff. I knew it was dangerous. I tried to stop you, but you wouldn't listen. I was scared. I'm so sorry, Colton.
He took my hand and walked back to the edge of the cliff and pointed. I looked down, to the crashing water, foaming on the rocky beach far below. When the waves rolled back, there lay Colton's still form. I lay next to him, my fingers wrapped in his hand.
Casting my VOTE here!
ReplyDeleteYay! My first vote! Thanks Alex!!
DeleteWow. That was amazing. The idea creeped me out completely because my son (when he was little--about six) used to talk about a black hooded man who came to the window to watch him. He's sixteen now and he still swears it was real. I know him well enough to know something bizarre was going on when he was a kid cause he was never the exaggerating/lying type. Soon as I started reading your story I got chills.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I digress. Even without the personal connection, that was amazing. The ending gave me chills. NICE job. I've seen this and one other one that I would totally choose--if I wasn't in the contest.Good thing I'm not the competitive type or I'd be crying in me wheaties right now. haha.
Oooohhh. Thanks Tamara! You know, I almost voted on yours before I realized I would be voting against me:)
DeleteBut thanks for the compliment:) your story was great too!!!
Oh so creepy!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gliria:)
DeletePlease excuse my typo in your name. I'm sorry about that:(
DeleteYou have my VOTE! Wonderful story, and I totally relate to the cliff and the rocky beach below!
ReplyDeleteYay for another vote. Thanks a mil Yolanda !!
DeleteI VOTE for this one!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Anonymous. But I need a name before the vote can count. Come back with your John Hancock. Please!
DeleteI VOTE for this one!!:)
ReplyDeleteYay yay. I love votes. Thanks sooooo much:)
DeleteI VOTE for this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jonathan! Now, tell your friends to drop by and vote:)
DeleteI hope I'm not sounding like a political party, that I won't mention any names...
WOW! Talynn! I was not expecting that ending! Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you entered! Good luck!
Thank you, Jessa! So excited!
DeleteOkay, now I know what you're fully capable of! This was amazing Talynn! You had me hooked from beginning to end! And that's something!!! I vote for this one right here!!!
ReplyDeleteReally Crystal? Thanks. You made me smile:) and thank you so much for your vote!!
DeleteA spell-binding story. LOVED the ending. This is my favorite line: "So I dropped the terror from my heart and stamped it into the ground." I can visualize Kaleah doing just that. Beautifully-worded.
ReplyDeleteThis piece has my VOTE!
Thank you Janette! That's one if my favorite lines too. I have a couple others, though. One of them is the line about tears mingling with the rain.
DeleteThanks super a lot for the vote:)
Hi again. Okay. Here you go. VOTE!My husband says I'm crazy voting against my own but I explained that I had to choose the one I actually thought was better. :) You did such a great job on this and you gave me some really awesome ideas for the next time I give this a go. (On writing tips, not stealing your story ideas haha)
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing writer this story was great I VOTE for this one.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mitch. :) I hoped you would get over here and vote for me!
ReplyDeleteThis was a tremendous story! I want to VOTE for you and I hope you win! Good job mom :)
ReplyDeleteThanks a million. I appreciate it:)
DeleteYou have my VOTE
ReplyDeleteHi Kelley! Thank you for voting! Yippie:)
ReplyDeleteWow, very cool, unexpected ending. You've got my vote!
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan! I really appreciate it!
DeleteI know you are my friend but I VOTE for this one. After all, what are friends for?
ReplyDeleteThanks:):):)!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteWow! U have my vote!
ReplyDeleteHey Becky!! Is this the Becky I know?
DeleteThanks , with lots of sugar, for voting?
You've got my vote!
ReplyDelete~Debbie
Hi Debbie! Thanks for visiting today! And thanks for your vote:)
Deleteoh WOW, this is very creepy indeed. But amazing! I will vote for this :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Trisha! I appreciate your visit and your vote!
DeleteI totally vote for you! That was some terrific writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Heather! I'm so happy you gave me a vote:)
DeleteExcellent job. You've got my vote. I love ghost stories.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lois! Believe it or not, I've just recently started reading them:)
DeleteI VOTE for your story.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sweety! I love you:)
DeleteWhat a great story! I VOTE for this story ( from the best son-in-law you have)
ReplyDeleteThat's so sweet. Thanks!
DeleteI VOTE for this one.
ReplyDeleteLove this. I VOTE
ReplyDeleteThanks, Love:)
DeleteGreat story!! I VOTE for this one(:
ReplyDeleteYay! Thanks soon to be daughter:)
DeleteI VOTE for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks a million hugs!
DeleteVote
ReplyDeleteYou little sweetie, you:) Thanks!
DeleteVote for an awesome story.
ReplyDeleteI thought you'd never get over here and vote!
DeleteVOTE. Good story.
ReplyDeleteHey you! Thanks:)
DeleteVote. (from Liz)
ReplyDeleteHey Liz!!!! How have you been? Come visit me soon! Thanks for the vote!!!!!!
DeleteVote.
ReplyDeleteHey Matt. What up? Thanks for visiting:)
Deleteoooh I give this a VOTE for sure. The ending definitely gave me chills.
ReplyDeleteThank you Vikki:) I REALLY appreciate your vote!
DeleteI vote. This was scary.
ReplyDeleteI'm Levi's friend.
I liked your story. It was scary. I vote for you to win.
DeleteThanks Eli and Ethan. You are both sweet.
DeleteVote
ReplyDeleteHi Kimmy! Thanks and hope to see you all soon:) I miss you guys:(
DeleteHi. I'm Gabe. Levi's friend. I read you ghost story. I vote here.
ReplyDeleteHey Gabe. Thanks. See you tomorrow:)
Deletei vote fir u
ReplyDeleteThanks for voting. I'm sorry I didn't explain it right the first time and I appreciate you coming back here to vote:)
DeleteI love this story, I didn't expect the Man with the Black Hood to be someone she knew, and I certainly didn't expect that ending! It was kind of bittersweet, which I like :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Laura! Your is great, too:) best wishes on the 30th:)
ReplyDeleteLove it. I VOTE.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I appreciate your vote!
DeleteAmAzing!!! I love reading your stories!!! You will always have my vote!!!! Love you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Robin! How's everyone doing? Give the kids and your hubby a hug from me:)
DeleteLove you, too:)
Nice. I vota ve vou!
ReplyDeleteVOTE!!!!!!!
Thanks Bethy:)
DeleteVOTE!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Rick.
DeleteVote! :) Great entry!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI love your blog:)
And your reviews:)
I VOTE for this one:) great job!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much sweetie pie:)
DeleteAmazing story! Good job, "mom";)
ReplyDeleteOops, I VOTE for this one:) haha
DeleteLOL! Thanks for reading and voting:)
DeleteI enjoyed it very much. I vote for your story.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering when you'd get over her to vote for me. Thanks!
DeleteYou for sure have my vote!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Tell you friends t come vote
DeleteAwesome job! Vote!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Glad you liked it, and I'm really glad you gave me a vote:)
DeleteVOTING IS CLOSED.
ReplyDelete