Believe it or not, I almost forgot today was the fist Wednesday of the month! Sorry for posting so late in the afternoon today, guys and dolls!
What am I insecure about this month? Does it ever change, or it always the same old same old?
YES
It changes and this month, I am being totally completely honest....
I must sit back and ask, is it worth it? Is the waiting, the rejection, the wondering, the tears, and the waiting some more? Is it worth it?
I know it is. I know I MUST stay focused and determined. But it's hard.
It's hard to see other writing friends I have met who started the publishing journey the same time as me. See them with agents, or contracts, or published books. It's hard. It really is!
Don't get me wrong. I am so thrilled and happy for them it's almost like seeing my own work published and successful. But then reality sets in and I know it's not MINE, but my good friend's manuscript soon-to-be published book. Can I act like it doesn't hurt? Should I act like it doesn't make me wonder what's wrong with my writing?
I've come to the conclusion there must be something wrong with my writing. Maybe my technique? My style? My voice?
I don't know, but I am DETERMINED to find the answer and correct my problem.
I will succeed.
I will win.
I will be published.
YES!!
What am I insecure about this month? Does it ever change, or it always the same old same old?
YES
It changes and this month, I am being totally completely honest....
I must sit back and ask, is it worth it? Is the waiting, the rejection, the wondering, the tears, and the waiting some more? Is it worth it?
I know it is. I know I MUST stay focused and determined. But it's hard.
It's hard to see other writing friends I have met who started the publishing journey the same time as me. See them with agents, or contracts, or published books. It's hard. It really is!
Don't get me wrong. I am so thrilled and happy for them it's almost like seeing my own work published and successful. But then reality sets in and I know it's not MINE, but my good friend's manuscript soon-to-be published book. Can I act like it doesn't hurt? Should I act like it doesn't make me wonder what's wrong with my writing?
I've come to the conclusion there must be something wrong with my writing. Maybe my technique? My style? My voice?
I don't know, but I am DETERMINED to find the answer and correct my problem.
I will succeed.
I will win.
I will be published.
YES!!
You will win if you don't quit! It's all in the timing, which is crappy I know, but you have to hold out for your moment to shine. It will come!
ReplyDeleteI'm holding on so tight, I have rope burns:) wait a minute. Those are from my crutches!
DeleteI love Anne Lamott's words concerning jealousy, "But if you continue to write, you are probably going to have to deal with it, because some wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen for some of the most awful, angry, undeserving writers you know-- people who are, in other words, not you."
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't already, read or reread her chapter on jealousy in Bird by Bird. I don't think any of us are immune to this!
Thanks Julie. I'm not jealous. I'm really not;) I don't want to be jealous. I'm truly happy for my friends success. It's just hurtful waiting for my turn to come. It dies sound like jealousy, though. Doesn't it? But I'm not....
DeleteYou will win! Way to be positive about it all. Also, keep in mind that is may not be you that is the problem. The publishing companies gravitate towards things that are popular, and they think will sell. Don't give up!
ReplyDeleteI am so there! It's hard to watch the success of others even when you are beyond thrilled for them. You just wonder why you aren't there yet. But it will happen, as long as we keep working we will get there.
ReplyDeleteLove your Christmas design!
Keep your chin up!! Gosh, you always have the cutest blog! It's normal to feel these things; we all do from time to time. Believe in yourself. Happy IWSG post day. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's the spirit - we all just have to keep on keeping on ;)
ReplyDeleteawesome! Keep going, you can do it!
ReplyDeleteI think all of us go through this. No matter where we are in the journey. If you keep at it, you will succeed!
ReplyDeleteYour "someday" is coming and though it's hard to wait, we will be celebrating for you someday! :) Keep going!
ReplyDeleteMaybe there's nothing wrong with you but you are writing ahead of your time, or you have a different style that people is not used to. Believe in yourself and keep knocking on doors. Sooner or later you'll find a mind alike.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!
Thanks for being real! This is exactly how I feel on so many levels. My art, my poetry, my writing...today I thought about giving up and then I decided to visit you!
ReplyDeleteI know I am just having one of those days~ Keep going I believe you will succeed! :D You are amazing~ @>---------
Thank you!!! xo
I have heard several authors say that they couldn't think of one single person who kept at it that didn't make it. Several have said it took them the better part of a decade - and many have said that the first four years are like the work in college toward a degree. Dedication will equal success.
ReplyDeleteYour attitude is so great. I also want to say there are SO many options, Ink. You can self publish, get an agent, do the e-book thing, small press, etc. i love it. There's not just "one way" anymore. :) There are MANY ways!!
ReplyDeleteI think so many of us are at this point. I sure am. I constantly question myself at how much wasted time I have sat and wrote something that may never get published....then I smack myself in the head and say IT ISN"T WASTED TIME! Even if it never gets published it was something I enjoyed every minute of and I enjoy the chance to meet other authors and blog hop. So it is worth it but I feel the same "weird" feeling every time someone gets an offer. I'm sure the day I get one someone else will get the same weird feeling.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up you have to stay positive that your time will come. I get days like you, I guess most of us do, in fact I posted something similar to this on my blog. It is hard though especially when you get one knock back after another. Success may be just around the corner :)
ReplyDeleteI like how decked out for the holidays your blog is.
ReplyDeleteDon't be discouraged. The odds are against you in the first place. It may just be a simple matter of not coloring within the lines so much. As the publishing world changes, they get pickier about what they publish.
One day it will be you and you'll get a fan letter telling you how much love they have for what you wrote. That moment, will make all the moments before worth it.
I have only one thing to say: This (phase) too will pass. John Mantooth (my friend) and I were published in the same mag ten years ago. I stopped writing. He didn't. Right now, his debut novel just came out from Penguin. I asked myself, would that have happened to me if Id kept writing? Probably, but each boat rides its own wave. It was his time.
ReplyDeleteIf Im honest and sincere and good, mine will come too.
That's what you should remember, Talyn. Ours will come too.