Hiya beautiful guys and dolls! I know I've been missing in action for a few days, but traveling is hard.
H is for HONESTY.
Be honest with yourself.
Be honest with your family.
Be honest with your friends.
I know there is a fine line between honesty and kindness. WHAT??? Yes, I said that. Why? Because, there are times when I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Maybe their writing is way off, their characters are flat, and the plot is terrible. But they are m friend and I don't want to hurt their feelings.
Is that a license to not be honest and say, "This is great! Just a little tightening up and you've nailed it!" Rather than be honest, it's easy to skirt around the issue and "be nice."
This can go so many directions. It doesn't only apply to critiquing.
Is her outfit really hideous and you just can't find a way to say it?
Do you really not want to go to the party, but it's been planned for months and you don't want to hurt his feelings? So you say your sick.
I had an opportunity two weeks ago to do something. I could have changed some of the smallest things about my manuscript and I would be saying today, "My book is getting published!"
BUT...
I would have had to been dishonest to myself. I would have had to change somethings I didn't want to change. I thought about it and decided I would be true to myself and my story, to be honest with my heart and my desires.
So today, I challenge you: just be honest. I pays off in the long run.
You're right. They'll find out it sucks eventually anyhow- why not from you- someone who cares about them?
ReplyDeleteI've been very very honest with my friends who write and had similar feedback (harsh even, soul sucking some might say) from readers too....I think it's just a matter of being honest with yourself and being able to receive the criticism. It also depends on time, I believe.... If the harsh soul sucking feedback had been given to me 3 years ago when I first started writing, I don't think I would have been able to take it, I would have cried and called the person names and tell them how wrong they were. Now I have grown as a writer and I was able to take the criticism - I didn't AGREE with all of it but I took it in and read it and re-read it until I "got" it. :)
ReplyDeleteHonesty, truly is the way to go. Avoids so much hassle in the long run. :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's possible to be honest to yourself and others while being considerate and kind at the same time. It doesn't have to be an either/or situation.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I didn't mean to give an okay to be rude or mean. Simply being honest. And yes you can be kind and honest at the same time:)
DeleteHonesty is the best policy (although lying and getting away with it is a close second).
ReplyDeletemood
Moody Writing
Always be true to yourself when it comes to your writing. No compromise.
ReplyDeleteI consider honest critique only for critique partners. But we must be honest to ourselves and true to our stories and learn the difference between which feedback is really useful.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! for staying true to yourself even though it meant giving up getting published. It's sad that writers seem to have such little say when it comes to their own career, at least when agents and publishers are involved. I'm glad you kept your power for yourself!
ReplyDeleteHave fun with a-z.
If you try applying that line about tightening up to your friend's skirt, well, M Pax may be right about saving the honest critiques for people you work with.
ReplyDeleteHonesty is so important today. If we are honest about our failings, we take responsibility for mess we cause, learn from our mistakes, and become better people. If we think we never make a mistake -- it's someone else's fault, we never become better. MM
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Being honest to your own writing and yourself is just as important as being honest with your crit partners. I had a similar moment with one of my novels and also chose to pass. It's not an easy choice to make.
ReplyDeleteI do think it's a challenge to be honest AND kind at the same times ... but I'm working on it. :) Honesty comes first for me. I'm a new follower of your blog. Nice to meet you! :)
ReplyDeleteWe have to be so honest with ourselves and have a network of others that will be honest with us as well. I am looking forward to reading your others posts, and have listed your blog in my 'I' post today. Blessings,
ReplyDeleteAmanda - Realityarts-Creativity
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