Skip to main content

Never Give Up: Part 3

Where do you go after you introduce the character and the conflict? Well, that thing you need it the choice. What are the chices your MC has to make? Is there a multitude of choices? Does the choice he or she needs to make come with consequences? Tell us about the choice your MC needs to make.

Here is my last paragraph:

To unlock the powers for the book, River connects with some underground forces who promise they have the answers she need. The choice comes at a high price for Shae. Now River must choose between finding her own identity or doing what is right for Shae. Or, she can search for the answer that will save them both.

I know. Mine is way too vague. I need to be more precise. More detailed. And it would be an obvious choice to try and help out both girls, wouldn't it? So my "hanger" isn't very compelling.

What about you? How's your query? Does it match up to the outlines given by Matt? Have you changed yours? Let me know!

Comments

  1. Oh I've changed mine. About three more times since the version on my blog. That's about five different queries. And, even though I'm sure there'll be more tweaking, I feel heaps better about the last version than the first one (I found my first attempt yesterday. Hidden in some out of the way folder. It bad).

    On your query: I think you're right that it's an obvious choice for River to find a solution for both girls. The average person would attempt it, yes. Does it mean the alternative is doable? I dunno. But, for me, it isn't about the can. River MUST discover a way to save them both. Because you know she's the sort of girl who does that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know about rewrites! Sometimes it is exasperating. sometimes it is exciting. Especially when you finally think you have nailed it:)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Writer In Motion CP feedback

Hey beautiful guys and dolls! Here it is! My CP feedback edited story. Had a hard time with this, but I hope it makes sense. I've got a post I'm working on I plan to put up after Thanksgiving. Here ya go. Enjoy... Every morning I wake to carnival day.  Today, though, I have my key. If I don’t use it before midnight, my way of escape will gone. It’s a silver key with a twisted metal handle, a sapphire stone half moon and engraved stars. There’s a tiny inscription on the moon, but it’s so small, I’ve never been able to read it.I’ve always kept mine in my jewelry box, but today, I string it on a ribbon and tie it around my neck. My two best friends will be wearing theirs, too, and I wonder how they will escape this carnival of dreams. “What’s it for?” Cress asks as we stand in line for the swings. I run my fingertips over the entire silver surface. “I don’t know. It belonged to my grandmother,” I say. “Whatever.” She shrugs her shoulder in a dismissive way. “Have

Insecure Writers Group

Today, my feelings are mixed. On one hand, I've faced more rejection and that's not easy to write about or admit to the world. But I am not crying in my "milk" (no beer, folks:) I want to, but what good would it do??? I received a detailed critique from a "Best First Line" contest. The critique was the best I have ever received and seriously opened my eyes to "how" to improve my writing. Nice! Speaking of critiques, I am still looking for a critique partner. If anyone is looking back, please let me know and we can swap info. I'm sending off a YA query letter and first pages to 3 agents this week. Wish me luck. This will be the first time I have directly contacted and agent with a query. Yes, I'm nervous, so I'm saying again, WISH ME LUCK!!!

Operation Agent Ink

UPDATE: PLEASE FILL OUT THIS QUESTIONNAIRE AFTER YOU SIGN UP. Have you ever wondered what agents were dying to find in their inbox/slush pile? There have been many times I entered a contest and not even received a comment, not even from one of the agents. Or maybe the agent was kind enough to leave a comment that simply said, "Sorry, this just isn't what I'm looking for, but I love the premise and your voice." I always walk away feeling unsatisfied. If I had known exactly what the agent wanted beyond, "YA" or "Fantasy" I might not have even entered a contest I knew I wouldn't win! Even more, I wasted a very busy agents time! Well, your time of guessing is up! OPERATION AGENT INK to the rescue! That's right! This workshop will help aspiring authors get on the list of an agent's WISH LIST! When the workshop is over, your manuscript will be ready to view by a group of AMAZING agents who are dying to see what you've wri