Where do you go after you introduce the character and the conflict? Well, that thing you need it the choice. What are the chices your MC has to make? Is there a multitude of choices? Does the choice he or she needs to make come with consequences? Tell us about the choice your MC needs to make.
Here is my last paragraph:
To unlock the powers for the book, River connects with some underground forces
who promise they have the answers she need. The choice comes at a high price
for Shae. Now River must choose between finding her own identity or doing what
is right for Shae. Or, she can search for the answer that will save them both.
I know. Mine is way too vague. I need to be more precise. More detailed. And it would be an obvious choice to try and help out both girls, wouldn't it? So my "hanger" isn't very compelling.
What about you? How's your query? Does it match up to the outlines given by Matt? Have you changed yours? Let me know!