Celebrating the Small Things and Final Show Off Day

Vikki, you've been such a doll during this blog hop. I want to start the celebrations by saying thank you for being so kind and sweet! I now look forward to Friday and often find myself thinking about the "small things" during the week and being more thankful:)

Today, I have so much to mention, let's just get started!

1. I'm thankful for Vikki, who started this whole thing anyway.

2. I'm thankful to everyone who takes time out of their busy life to visit Ink in the Book!

3. Guess what? I am now a Writer's Assistant for the awesome Kate Brauning! You can read all about her introductions here. She made me blush:)

4. Aaannnddd.... I'd like to announce my new job as Editorial Intern for Entranced Publishing! For which I am completely excited to be part of Entranced!!


Last, but certainly not least, today is the day for those involved in the SHOW OFF workshop to post their new, edited show off piece of writing.

Rules: it must be the same piece you posted earlier in the week, only I want to see you show off your improved writing where you removed the telling and added the showing.

I have pasted a piece of my writing that I re-wrote after submitting to Carrie Pestrito of the Prospect Agency and her feedback. Let me say, this is not endorsed by Carrie and I have not resubmitted to Carrie, but after taking her advice, I have revised my entire book. This is what I've learned:

When the courier heralded the message this morning at our front door, it broke my mother’s heart. She hid me in the attic for months in hope I would be safe, free to live a normal life. The snag in her silky scheme ripped apart at the seams when I told her about my secret desire to be chosen.

  

Yes, I wanted to be included with the chosen girls. I wanted to be known as his. Even if I weren’t chosen as his wife, I’d be forever bound to the King’s harem, and strange as that sounded, I wanted that.

My younger sister couldn’t be sent in my place, although my mother tried. My sister, Salmae, didn’t qualify because she wasn’t a virgin. I suppose when the King’s councilors found out about Salmae’s chastity status, they came for me instead.  

Post your new piece below and Carrie will be announcing her choice and the winner gets a one page critique from Carrie!!